What’s got me thinking: Relationships that outlast the job
I had coffee last week with someone I worked with 15 years ago. We haven’t been colleagues in over a decade, haven’t even worked in the same industry for the last five years. But we still meet up quarterly, share opportunities, celebrate wins, and occasionally vent about frustrations.
This got me thinking about what makes professional relationships last beyond the shared office space.
I have a colleague who, in every meeting, asks, “How can I be of service to you today?” It’s not performative, it’s genuine. And it’s systematic. He asks it every time, which means people know they can actually request help. That simple, repeated question has built him an incredibly strong network that extends far beyond his current company.
Marc Shaffer's new book One for All calls this “systemizing kindness” — having repeatable practices for supporting others. At first, the phrase seemed contradictory. But the more I think about it, the more I realize the best professional relationships aren’t accidental.
The people who stay in your life and become genuine resources and friends, not just former coworkers, are the ones who consistently show up. Not perfectly. Not always. But consistently.
They remember what matters to you. Not in a creepy CRM way, but genuinely. They ask about your kid’s college search because they remember you mentioned it six months ago.
They share opportunities even when there’s nothing in it for them. They forward job postings, make introductions, share articles. Without keeping score.
They celebrate your wins. Really celebrate them. Not perfunctory LinkedIn likes, but genuine acknowledgment.
They show up when things are hard. Not just the “grab coffee when it’s convenient” type but the “I heard things are tough, what can I do?” type. It’s the non-transactional kind of professional community that sustains you through decades, not just through the next job change.
As I think about my own resolutions for 2026, I keep coming back to this: What system would help me consistently show up for the people who matter? Not a revolutionary overhaul, but sustainable practices that help me be the colleague I want to be — even after we’re no longer coworkers.
Maybe it’s blocking 30 minutes every Friday for connection. Maybe it’s keeping a simple list of people I want to support. Maybe it’s just consistently asking, “How can I be of service?” and meaning it.
Because the relationships that outlast the job? Those are the ones built on consistent care, not occasional grand gestures.